Liberal Media Elite

Com-servatives

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by Ray Anderson

The Republican Majority Campaign political action committee recently sent out an e-mail to it’s supporters seeking $119 so they could fax a letter to every member of congress warning of Barack Hussein (they had to get that in there) Obama’s plan to “take over the ENTIRE internet.” Of course, what the liberal media isn’t telling you is about all the other great deals you can get to fight Obama’s hostile takeover of the internets.

For just $94.50, the Republicans 4 Teknology PAC will send you a beeper that pages you frequently with a toll-free number you can call to get updates on how liberals are planning to use The Google to teach your children about gay marriage.

Republicans Against Nude Sculptures have a great deal right now for you to help fight the spread of liberalism without leaving the comfort of your own home.  For the low cost of $17.76, you can get John Ashcroft’s Greatest Hits on cassette, Read more

If phase 1 is denial, what phase is the blame game?

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Thursday November 6th

9:15AM

Dear Diary,

Top Reasons We Lost Election (As Was Obviously Completely and Totally Not My Fault)

By John S. McCain

<!--[if !supportLists]-->1) <!--[endif]-->Liberal Media You-Tube-Sensation Elite; in particular, I blame Obama girl and the Hey Sarah Palin guys.

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the maverick out-mavericked

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Tuesday October 28th

3:31PM

Dear Diary,

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Jesus H. Christ wasn’t Jesus HUSSEIN Christ

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Tuesday October 21st

6:06PM

Dear Diary,

Many rumors thrown around that opponent is actually Messiah returned to earth in second coming (encouraged by Barack himself, no doubt) Little does Senator Bill-Ayers-BFF realize he is a False Messiah; as Jesus himself predicted, "false Christs and false prophets will arise and will show great signs and wonders, so as to mislead, if possible, even the elect” (Matthew 24:24)

Also little does democratic ticket know I was careful not only to seek out TRUE messiah, but to include her on my ticket…

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Don’t worry, Tina—WHEN I become president, I’ll gladly send you to Mars (you too, Colin)

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October 19th, 2008

1:43 PM

Dear Diary,

As not a debate night, was unable to force self to stay up late enough to see Governor Palin on Saturday Night Live. Luckily (or unluckily) Daughter Meghan said nearly every website on internets posted video, and was able to pull one up for me this morning.

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Dear Dave: I didn't have to show up at all, you little jerk

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Friday October 17th

8:25PM

Dear Diary,

Forced by Rick to appear on Late Night with Letterman and apologize for skipping previously scheduled appearance, as absence somehow presented "deep insult" to public. It seems skipping Letterman of more consequence to American People than solving financial crisis, or zipping over to Miss Alaska Governor Palin’s interview with Katie couric to give Sarah new cue cards before she destroyed campaign altogether.

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THS Miss Alaska

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Thursday, October 9th

6:06AM

Dear Diary,

Cindy says I need to stop complaining about Liberal Media Elite (direct quote: “OH be quiet, you crotchety old geezer,” then she mumbled something about hair plugs, but didn’t have my hearing aid in). But how can I keep quiet when media is just SO unfair?? Quite tired of them questioning choice of Sexy Sarah Governor Palin as running mate. Want to debunk prevailing theories concerning her selection:

1) Am not senile. New memory and energy supplements working quite well, thank you. Fingers crossed can hold out on dementia till elected to second term, then mental condition can deteriorate at will. And bonus: can claim to be following tactics of Ronald Reagan! Read more

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