POW

Dear Dave: I didn't have to show up at all, you little jerk

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Friday October 17th

8:25PM

Dear Diary,

Forced by Rick to appear on Late Night with Letterman and apologize for skipping previously scheduled appearance, as absence somehow presented "deep insult" to public. It seems skipping Letterman of more consequence to American People than solving financial crisis, or zipping over to Miss Alaska Governor Palin’s interview with Katie couric to give Sarah new cue cards before she destroyed campaign altogether.

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Expecting the Unexpected

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Friday October 14th

9:45PM

Dear Diary,

Am exhausted. Up horrendously late preparing for final debate. Campaign staff seems quite jittery about tomorrow but am not nervous, no sir. Exactly where I wanted to be in the polls. Would you think a maverick would be winning? No, you wouldn’t! You’d expect him to be unexpectedly and inexplicably behind—despite vastly superior political experience and war-hero record—and make amazing last minute underdog comeback despite fact he wasn’t expected to be underdog in the first place. And I have to do exactly what the American People would expect out of a maverick, which is the unexpected.

Explained this to Rick, who started pulling his hair out muttering about circular reasoning. Poor guy must be tired too. Read more

Hello, My Friends!

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Tuesday October 7th

11:15PM

Dear Diary,

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